theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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