I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
