Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
