As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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