Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
