What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
