Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
