remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
