I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
