update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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