i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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