Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
