You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
