He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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