oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
