Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
