you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
cat food counts as protein by the way
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
