I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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