do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
