I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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