There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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