Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
