There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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