i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
