just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
