wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
