1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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