You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
