No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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