I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
