stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
