cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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