saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
