Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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