My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
