Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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