Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
