I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
