And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
