so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
