Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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