Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
