ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
