U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
