Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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