At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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