You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
