Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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