We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
