Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Im part way to drunk.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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